notorious

I Did Some Swearing

2010-11-30T12:07:00.006-05:00

It's true. I swore yesterday...swore to uphold the Constitution of South Carolina, the US, to faithfully serve my clients, and everything else required of a South Carolina attorney.

My parents, little brother, and I drove up to Columbia yesterday so that I (along with all the other admittees) could stand in front of the SC Supreme Court and take the oath of office (which, if you're interested, can be found HERE).

So, after a long, LONG journey, I've finally made it. I'm officially an attorney!! P.S.: That's me holding my certificate to practice law in the State of South Carolina. It will look GOOD hanging in my future office.

Just Call me ESQUIRE!!

2010-11-03T15:20:00.005-04:00

So, I know I've been ridiculously MIA for quite a while, but all I've been doing is the oh, so fun job hunt and waiting for bar results--and that's not an interesting blog topic. Just saying.

BUT...last Friday, results were posted and I PASSED THE BAR EXAM!!!! Oh, what a good feeling...and a HUGE relief! So, at the end of the month I'll be sworn into the South Carolina Bar and I will officially be an attorney! You can see my name on the pass list HERE. I'm number 10 on the list. I'm excited!! There will be more pictures after I'm sworn in and hopefully another post soon announcing a successful end to the job hunt (which btw has been hideous thus far).

I'm Not Dead

2010-06-13T19:45:00.002-04:00

Just in case you were wondering. Finals hit me, then graduation, then the drive home across the country, then I got here and finished up my 403's and now I'm studying for the bar. So I'll probably stay gone until that's all over. See y'all in August.

Denver...Delay...Delta...

2010-03-17T11:20:00.010-04:00

What do these three words have in common? They all start with the same letters as DEvil. As Caitlin says on the matter: Coincidence? I think not.

I don't know how many of you have flown through Denver, but this creepy demon horse is the first--and most memorable--thing you see when you fly in. It's huge, it's blue, it's angry, and it has glow-in-the-dark evil eyes. And I'm pretty sure it curses everything that flies in and out of that place.

And cursed I was. I got off the plane and the first thing I see is an email telling me I've been bumped to a later flight. Then, when I go to get my new boarding pass, they tell me that all flights to SLC have been cancelled that night--AND that I can't get out until TUESDAY. Well, I got them to put me on a flight on Monday instead...but I was still stranded. In Denver. Ugh.

Luckily it was the airline's fault--something wrong with the plane--so they put me up in a hotel for the night and gave me vouchers for food, etc., but I was still stuck in Denver, with no clothes, toiletries, no makeup. The next morning was NOT pretty. And I missed another entire day of classes--not good. Cursed by the Demon Horse of Denver.

And then...when I did make it back to SLC, I got into the shuttle to take me back to my apartment in Provo and the driver finds out I'm in law school and starts asking me all kinds of questions about the bar exam. He knew a lot more about it than the average person does, so I asked him if he had known someone who took the exam...or what. He turns and looks at me (creepily, I might add) and says, "I'm an attorney." Seriously???? He claims he didn't like the law and is looking to do something else now...but still. You couldn't find anything else to do? I'm hoping this isn't another bad omen about the job market right now...but who knows how far the Demon Horse's curse will go.

Just Call Me Hexxusssssss....

2010-02-15T23:41:00.018-05:00

Because who even needs rainforests anyway? Most people say that trees are a good thing. And that rainforests are endangered. But "I see the world and all the creatures in it, I suck 'em dry and spit 'em out like spinach, 'Cause greedy human beings will always lend a hand with the destruction of this worthless jungle land."

Am I a greedy human being sucking the the world dry? Am I spitting it out like spinach? Oh yeah. But it's only because I am in nose-blowing misery...and there don't seem to be enough tissues in the world to deal with my...umm....nasal emissions. Spitting them out like spinach, I am. Gross. And Eeeevvvviiillll....Muah ha ha ha ha...

Seriously. It's bad. I imagine I've used up a couple acres of trees with the tissues I've used and thrown away. Should I feel ashamed about that? Hmmmm...probably. But I don't. I don't feel bad because I'm a greedy, soulless, tree-killing, tissue-using Human.

Being green is expensive and totally lame. Everyone should model their behavior after Hexus, as I have...because I need those trees to be cut down to make more tissues for me. MORE, I say!!

Or maybe I'm just bitter, hostile, crabby because this is the FOURTH placement break I've spent lying in bed, sick. No, that couldn't be it. I'm just a tree killer.

We've Been "Bad"...My, Oh My!

2010-02-13T01:24:00.007-05:00

So...apparently my roommate and I are being punished--by our other roommate. Yeah. You heard me right--PUNISHED!! We're bad.

We don't like living in a daycare and I guess that she's responding to our frustration regarding such. That, and we actually get along with each other. Jealous perhaps? Who knows? So she refuses to clean, do dishes, take out the trash...and the big move: she took her TV out of the living room. Oooooohhh...BFD. It's her TV--she can do what she wants with it.

But I got a good laugh out of it. She's a year or two older than me--making her almost 30--and yet she still finds it appropriate to "punish" her roommates. I'm not sure if she thinks it will be effective, or if she's just extremely passive-aggressive. And who does she think she is to punish ME? No one's punished me or told me what to do since high school--and even then it didn't go over so well. And does she think I'm going to learn something from her infantile so-called "punishment??" Hahahahahahaha! She has no idea with whom she is dealing.

Doesn't such behavior seem like something more appropriate for an 18-year-old child fresh from high school...or perhaps even middle school. Yeah, it's more like middle school drama. Seriously, who does that?? But hey, I guess whatever. I've only got like 2.5 months left here. Punishment indeed!!

Tilting at Windmills?

2009-12-02T13:30:00.013-05:00

As I enter the final sprint of my second-t0-last semester of law school, I find this quote from Cervantes' Don Quixote (which I have edited to make it more...applicable) especially apropos:

"In short, [she] so immersed [herself] in those [law books] that [she] spent whole days and nights over [her] books; and thus with little sleeping and much reading, [her] brains dried up to such a degree that [she] lost the use of [her] reason."

Yeah, I'm there. I've always enjoyed my friend Don Quixote, but now I see that we are kindred spirits. And thus, I descend into the sleepless, dried up brain, unreasonable experience that is Finals Week.

I'd rather be tilting those windmills. Wish me luck.

Ode to Federal Courts

2009-11-23T12:20:00.004-05:00

Class is boring, I am snoring

I must return to bed this morning.

I would rather read some Willa Cather,

for what I'm reading now's just blather.

I do not care for habeas corpus

I'd rather go swim with a porpoise

Rasul and Hamdi and Padilla,

Can't keep my brain engaged--so SEE YA

Aren't you glad I'm good at rhyming?

(At least I haven't started "miming.")

This class for me has become painful

and thus you get this silly brainful.

Fingerprints and [Free] Agency

2009-10-26T16:10:00.010-04:00

So I'm getting close to being done with [blasted] law school and am working on my bar application. Let me tell you--it's a pretty intensive, in depth application. I have to list every address I've lived at and every job I've ever had (including their addresses!) for the past ten years, I need a bazillion character affidavits/references from people unrelated to me, a copy of my birth certificate (you get the idea)...and I have to get fingerprinted.

I had to call the SC Office of Bar Admissions (which is only open until 2pm EST) to get a special fingerprint card and have them mail it out to me. And today...I went over to University Police on the main campus to get fingerprinted. Fun, right? Who knew that in order to become an officer of the court, I'd have to get fingerprinted like some kind of criminal? Anyway. The officer made fun of South Carolina (he didn't like how they folded the fingerprint card), he made fun of my hands for being dry (hello--Utah), and then he got upset when I showed him how SC wanted the card filled out. Fun.

But on the way back from BYUPD, I came upon the highlight of my day:

Another member of BYU's Finest (dressed in a BYUPD windbreaker, tight shorts, and shoes with socks pulled up--in 4o degree weather) was in the process of kicking a woman--who was dressed like a bag lady, complete with spastic hair--off of campus. She was distributing anti-Mormon literature from a suitcase/bag the size of my car, and this woman, whose name is RACHEL, screamed at the top of her lungs, flinging her arms every which way, the entire time she packed up her materials, and rolled herself off of campus.

The woman looked a lot like this (minus the makeup) as she screamed: "I KNOW MY RIGHTS, THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THE TRUTH, I CAN SHARE MY MESSAGE!!!!! I HAVE FREE AGENCY!!!! LET'S ALL COME TOGETHER NOW AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!! PRAISE GOD, HALLELUJAH!!! I HAVE MY FREE AGENCY!!! I KNOW MY RIGHTS!!!!

BYU SUUUUUUUCCKKKSSSSS!!!!!

She was flipping out, eyes bulging, screaming all the way across campus, dragging her rolly bag behind her, tripping, bag lady skirt and frizzy hair flying behind her.

Fingerprint Card: $10, Bar Exam Application: $400,

Insane Flipout: Priceless

To the girl sitting next to me in class

2009-09-25T13:48:00.003-04:00

The girl who:

Comes in 10-12 minutes late every day, flings her stuff everywhere, and takes another 5 [loud] minutes to get situated;

Coughs her lungs up loudly during the entire class and announces to those of us in close proximity to her that the doctors don't know what's wrong with her and that she's probably dying;

Often comes to class with just a notebook, but not her laptop, textbook OR even a pen, and then asks to borrow mine;

Tells me that my Facebooking is distracting and that I should stop;

Informs me that her laptop is radioactive and probably giving her cancer--AND then wraps a lap desk in tin foil to put under her laptop to "stop the radiation from getting her;"

You need to stay away from me: drop out of school, throw yourself into shark-infested waters, drink hemlock, adopt Cujo...whatever. Just GET AWAY from me!

There's a reason

2009-09-22T17:05:00.003-04:00

I'm still single.

Listen to THIS.

Hahahahahahahaha....Unbelievable!

Sure are a lot of winners left out there...

I don't get nearly enough sleep.

2009-09-17T03:33:00.004-04:00

CURSES on law school

For those of you wondering

2009-09-15T21:45:00.004-04:00

about the title from my last post about Kanye West, it's a quote from an episode of South Park (tasteless, I know, but sometimes funny).

A clip from the episode I referenced can be found HERE. Warning--there is a bad word in the clip.

I wasn't trying to be offensive, but when I heard what Mr. West did at the VMA's, that episode was the first thing I thought of--and I titled my posting the same. I know--I'm clever AND original. I don't ascribe to those ideals or to being offensive--it was just a quote from a (childish...and kind of gross) tv show.

Kanye West is a Gay Fish

2009-09-14T01:11:00.007-04:00

I'm sure he also kicks puppies, steals candy from children,

and trips old people with walkers.

Jerk.

You LIE!!

2009-09-11T22:50:00.011-04:00

I know I'm a little late to be voicing my opinion on this but....I've been busy, so you get to hear it now. There's been a little bit of an uproar about a certain senator from SC who...shall we say, spoke a few choice words directed at Obama. I don't know why it shocks everyone so much...this is not the first time a South Carolinian has "spoken out" in Congress.

I'm speaking, of course, of Preston Smith Brooks.

On May 22, 1856 Preston Brooks, SC Rep., beat Senator Charles Sumner with his wooden walking cane in the Senate chamber. The provocation for the beating came from a speech Sumner had made three days earlier. In Sumner's speech, he criticized President Pierce and all Southerners who sympathized with the pro-slavery violence in Kansas. Further, Sumner blasted Brooks' relative, Senator Andrew Butler, describing slavery as a harlot and comparing Butler with Don Quixote for embracing it, in addition to which he mocked Butler for a physical handicap.

At first, Brooks intended to challenge Sumner to a duel; however, after consulting with fellow SC Rep. Laurence M. Keitt on duelling etiquette, he was instructed that dueling was for gentlemen of equal social standing, suggesting that Sumner occupied a lower social status--comparable to a drunkard--due to the coarse language he had used during the speech. Brooks thus decided to attack Sumner with a cane--the same kind of cane used to discipline his dogs!

On the afternoon of May 22, Brooks confronted Sumner as he sat writing at his desk in the almost empty Senate chamber. Brooks said,

"Mr. Sumner, I have read your speech twice over carefully. It is a libel on South Carolina, and Mr. Butler who is a relative of mine."

As Sumner stood, Brooks began beating Sumner on the head with his thick, gold-headed cane. Brooks continued to beat Sumner until he broke his cane, then quietly left the chamber. After the incident, South Carolinians sent Brooks dozens of brand new canes--one even bore the phrase "Hit him again."

I may be a heathen, but I think this story is hilarious. Both stories, actually. Must be the SC in me. Less than a day after Rep. Joe Wilson spoke his infamous words, one of his campaign aides confirmed that Rep. Wilson has raised more than $200,000. Granted, it's not a gold topped cane or the million that his opponent has claimed to have raised...but it's something. We like when one of our own speaks his mind.

Perhaps Wilson made his views on certain matters known in a so-called inappropriate way, but don't we want representatives who are going to fight for what they believe--fight for us!--no matter who is in opposition to those views? I'm not advocating incivility or violence in any way at all, but I'm not at all pleased with the direction Obama seems to be taking us...and I'm glad there's someone up in DC speaking for me. And IMHO, he should keep speaking.

Update: He's up to $1 million now...

Manifest Destiny Indeed!

2009-08-23T16:08:00.004-04:00

This country takes FOREVER to drive across. I don't know what those pioneers were thinking WALKING across the entire thing. Ugh.

That being said...I think it's something everyone should do at least once. You don't realize just how big this country is until you drive across and see it all. It's quite something to see the landscape change from what we have on the East Coast and this old Utah.

More to come later...

JUST...

2009-04-21T19:12:00.001-04:00

ONE final and...

FOUR days

until I'm out of here!!

SC here I come!!

Oh My, Oh My...What A Night!

2009-04-06T01:50:00.014-04:00

Baseball season is finally here--and I'm just giddy. Ha ha. It's time to get out the sunscreen, buy a hot dog, and root for the home team.

Seriously, what's better than sitting in the hot sun, smelling the grass and the clay, sitting with friends (it's baseball--everyone's friendly) and watching "the beautiful game?"

Part of its beauty lies in the fact that , although the game does inspire "healthy" competition, those who truly love the game know that it's really not about winning and losing--it's just about the satisfaction of playing the game and playing it well. Cliche? Perhaps. But nothing beats feeling that perfect pitch hit the sweet spot of your bat as you swing away. Or running and diving for that impossible fly ball, and feeling it fall into your glove. And sprinting toward home plate, sliding, and beating the throw. If you lose--there's no crying in baseball--life goes on. Pack it up, practice until you get it right, do it better next time.

"The one constant through all the years...has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It's been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past...[i]t reminds us of all that once was good, and that could be again." (Field of Dreams).

And tonight, I was just thrilled to watch my Braves knock down those Phillies in this year's Opening Day...er, Night. It's about time!!

How about our little rookie, Jordan Schafer? He made his major league debut tonight with an amazing home run!

And I just might have a little crush on Derek Lowe after his stellar performance tonight!

And I'm just loving their new look! I'm super excited to see how the rest of the season plays out! "Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks...I don't care if I never get back!!"

The Booty-Kicking

2009-03-31T20:30:00.004-04:00

So last night I took part in my first [mock] trial. And my partner and I kicked some serious prosecution booty! It was an interesting experience to say the least--we had a run-in with some seriously ridiculous opposing counsel (he even objected during my closing statement--who DOES that?!?!).

And I had help from some pretty spectacular witnesses--

kudos to Andrew and Greg!

But we won, so rack another one up to reasonable doubt!!

I've still got lots to learn on trial work...but I'm pretty sure I was born for this.

Oh my.

Things I'd Rather Be Doing Than My Homework

2009-03-27T14:17:00.006-04:00

Eating vegetables

Drinking expired milk

Clipping my toenails

Cleaning the bathroom

Shoveling Snow

Be at the dentist

Deathboxing

Cleaning out the oven

Locking my keys in my car

Dating Tom Cruise

Living in Nebraska

Cutting my heart out with a spoon.

What Does Your Birthday Say About You?

2009-03-17T23:07:00.006-04:00

I found a Birthday Calculator (while I was studying of course) and I thought it was kind of fun. Here's some of what it had to say about me:

1 February 1983

Your date of conception was on or about 11 May 1982 which was a Tuesday.

You were born on a Tuesday under the astrological sign Aquarius.

Your fortune cookie reads: To love is to forgive.

You were born in the Chinese Year of the Dog.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Otter; your plant is Fern.

All of which prompted me to further research the zodiac signs to see if they fit my personality. Here's what they had to say...let me know what you think!

Aquarius - The Water Bearer January 20 – February 18

Often simple and unassuming, the Aquarian goes about accomplishing goals in a quiet, often unorthodox ways. Although their methods may be unorthodox, the results for achievement are surprisingly effective. Aquarian’s will take up any cause, and are humanitarians of the zodiac. They are honest, loyal and highly intelligent. They are also easy going and make natural friendships. If not kept in check, the Aquarian can be prone to sloth and laziness. However, they know this about themselves, and try their best to motivate themselves to action. They are also prone to philosophical thoughts, and are often quite artistic and poetic.

Otter: Jan 20 - Feb 18

A little quirky, and unorthodox, the Otter is a hard one to figure sometimes. Perceived as unconventional, the Otter methods aren't the first ones chosen to get the job done. This is a big mistake on the part of others – because although unconventional, the Otter's methods are usually quite effective. Yes, the Otter has unusual way of looking at things, but he/she is equipped with a brilliant imagination and intelligence, allowing him/her an edge over every one else. Often very perceptive and intuitive, the Otter makes a very good friend, and can be very attentive. In a nurturing environment the Otter is sensitive, sympathetic, courageous, and honest. Left to his/her own devices, the Otter can be unscrupulous, lewd, rebellious, and isolated.

Year of the Dog

People born in the Year of the Dog possess the best traits of human nature. They have a deep sense of loyalty, are honest, and inspire other people's confidence because they know how to keep secrets. But Dog People are somewhat selfish, terribly stubborn, and eccentric. They care little for wealth, yet somehow always seem to have money. They can be cold emotionally and sometimes distant at parties. They can find fault with many things and are noted for their sharp tongues. Dog people make good leaders. They are compatible with those born in the Years of the Horse, Tiger, and Rabbit.

chillin out, maxin, relaxin all cool

2009-03-11T17:17:00.008-04:00

Today, I had to go onto the main campus...and what did I see? A kid, carrying a huge boombox (think--the size of a park bench!) on his shoulder...and said boombox was blaring the theme song to Fresh Prince. Oh my. He must have been "up to no good!" Yo ho, smell you later! Oh, BYU campus. One word of advice to this kid: Ipod.

Grossout Alert

2009-03-02T22:43:00.004-05:00

FYI: The kid behind me in my trial practice class is revolting. Disgusting. Beastly. Loathesome. He does hideous things and makes hideous noises, e.g., hacking and snorting snot. Ugh. It makes my stomach turn just to think about it. Seriously...I leave the class and feel like I have to go home and shower immediately just to remove the poison of his grossness. Sick Sick SICK!!

(This is what he looks like...or at least how I think of him.)

Lång Levande Sverige!!

2009-02-24T14:43:00.025-05:00

note: I don't know why I'm so into lists lately, but here's another that will give you more reasons to be jealous of me. hahahaha....

Some of the luckiest people on this earth happen to be Swedes or of Swedish descent. There will probably be some who argue with me, but they're just silly. And after reading this list, those silly people will have no choice but to agree with me.

1. VIKINGS
Who doesn't love tall, rugged, manly men who sail on really cool ships and bring home booty for their women??

They were once described by the Arabic traveler, Ibn Fadlan, as follows:
"I have never seen more perfect physical specimens tall as date palms, blond and ruddy; they wear neither tunics nor caftans, but the men wear a garment which covers one side of the body and leaves a hand free. Each man has an axe, a sword, and a knife, and keeps each by him at all times." Need I say more??"

2. SWEDISH MASSAGE
Relaxing, good for blood flow...just be on the lookout for any masseuse with wandering fingers. That's NOT what kind of massage I mean! Oh my, oh my!!

3. GREAT FILM
Ingmar Bergman. No one can argue with the fact that he's a genius. Take, for example, "Smiles on a Summer Night" or "The Seventh Seal." And who can forget Greta Garbo, Dolph Lundgren, Lena Olin, Ann-Margret, Max von Sydow...and many others?

4. SWEDISH PANCAKES
Thin deliciousness served sweet, with a fruit compote or syrup (strawberry is my favorite) and powdered sugar, or you can stuff them with savory breakfast fillings. Oh, how glorious!!

5. GREAT MUSIC
Honey, honey...such greats as ABBA, The Sounds, The Hives, and Jan Johansson (among many others). Just fabulous.

6. THE NOBEL PRIZE
Alfred Nobel invented dynamite (for which we're all grateful) and later instituted the Nobel Prize--the ultimate and highly coveted award for excellence in your chosen endeavor. The Supreme Competition. Oh. My.

7. ASTRID LINDGREN
Two words: Pippi Longstocking!!

8. H&M
Shopping. I don't need to say anything else.

9. NILS BOHLIN
He invented the three-point safety belt while working at Volvo. Saving lives worldwide since 1962! The world's population would be smaller by millions of people without good old Nils!

10. AND FINALLY,
The greatest example of Swedish engineering....ME, of course! Don't tell me you didn't see that one coming!

(and how funny/hideous is this picture?!?! hahahahahahahahaha!)

Zumba Update

2009-02-20T15:50:00.005-05:00

FYI: Superstar put on an amazing performance last night. We had a pretty traumatic run-in with The Creepers last night. By the end of the night, we had been pushed back ten feet from our original spot. Ridiculous!

And a few more nicknames:

GREEN BEAN:
This girl is tall and skinny and wears a lime green shirt and matching hair ribbon. She really doesn't do anything wrong, she just kept getting in my way last night and thus earned a nickname. It really suits her.

The NOTE TAKER:
This girl is also a carryover from Pilates. She used to bring a notebook to Pilates and write down everything we did so that she could do it at home by herself. And she was always the one who, when the instructor would ask if we should do more reps, said "YES! MORE! HARDER! FASTER!" Ha.

STICK STICKLY:
Stick Stickly is just unfortunate enough to look like Stick Stickly. Hahahahahahahahhaa.

Zumba!

2009-02-10T23:40:00.020-05:00

So, Courtney and I have been taking a Zumba class for a little while and, for the most part, we like it. We get a pretty good workout that's somewhat disguised as dancing (to a kind of mix of latin and hip hop rhythms). Way more fun than a regular workout. But while we're dancing/exercising, there are a few fellow Zumba-ites who make the class more...interesting, to say the least. Let me introduce you to them:

The CREEPERS

The creepers are a group of four girls who look about the age of freshman babies. They show up and cram all four of them into the space right next to us (where only two people should normally fit). Then, while we're working out, they creep closer, and closer, and closer...seriously invading our personal space. Eventually they get close enough that I can actually hit them...and I do. and they move. But eventually, they creep on back.

The MATCHY-MATCHY TWINNERS

The MMT's are two girls who dress alike--usually in a pink/reddish top and black pants--and "dance" at the front of the class so teacher can see them. I put dance in quotations b/c they think they're really good b/c they've obviously taken a dance class before and their hips are moving. But superstars, they are not.

The SUPERSTAR
Yes, we have a superstar in our class. She moves and shakes and gyrates her hips as if she were on "So You Think You Can Dance" or even "Dancing with the Stars." And her motions get exponentially more exuberant whenever the instructor gets anywhere near her. Superstar comes with a friend who's not quite on the same level as Superstar, so I guess she would be more of a Toadie.

FANCY PANTS
Oh, where do I even start on Fancy Pants? She comes to class with her hair done and wearing all kinds of interesting "workout" clothes. The rest of us just come in workout pants/shorts and t-shirts, but this girl wears "Outfits." And she also thinks she's really good at dancing--she's pretty much up there with Superstar, but her outfits put her on an entirely different level.

HOGI YOGI

Hogi Yogi can technically be classified as a "creeper," but as she's not part of the other group, she's in a class all on her own. She always wears a Hogi Yogi t-shirt to class and alternates between Creeping and Hopping (continuously moving around to various parts of the room trying to find a better spot).

POINTY TOE

Pointy Toe actually earned her nickname last semester when we were all in the same Pilates class together. She is very tall and has long, super-skinny legs with equally long and skinny feet. She would always put her mat close to mine and shove her pointy feet in my face, thus earning her nickname. I thought she'd take my eye out!

BANANA

Banana is a fairly recent addition to our class--who wears an ultra-bright yellow t-shirt. She starts by running around the track, then joining us in class for a while, then runs around the track again, and then comes back to class. She doesn't really do anything wrong, but her movements are so spasmodically enthusiastic we just have to laugh. It's hilarious, really.

AND THEN THERE'S US...

And then you have Courtney and me, hanging at the back of the room. Sometimes we don't pay attention very well and do the wrong moves. Sometimes we don't feel like being there and aren't very committed to the exercise. I guess you could call us the Bad Kids in the class. Oh well. We like it like that.

Are you saying Ni to [this] old woman?

2009-02-01T02:04:00.012-05:00

Well, don't. But I am quite old and getting rickety. And on this, the day of my 26th birthday, I've decided to share with you 26 random items about me (most of which I have taken from the oh, so famous Facebook list...those of you who follow both are lucky enough to see/read it twice).

VICTORIA LEIGH ANDERSON: BORN FEBRUARY 1, 1983, AGED 26 YEARS

1. I hate painting my fingernails but love having my toenails painted. I have tons and tons of fun colors (right now they're black with a fabulous reddish sparkle!).

2. I adore dark chocolate. It makes my tongue curl.

3. I cannot remember the last time I was offended. And I cannot hold a grudge to save my life.

4. I love being clean but I hate taking showers. It's the most boring thing in the world--I'm usually in and out pretty quickly. And don't get me started on baths.

5. I cannot listen to music without dancing. Sometimes I don't realize I'm doing it (ask me about that sometime). I especially love anything "booty-shaking" or "chair-dance-worthy." "Shake, shake you're money maker...like you was shaking it for some paper..."

6. I love to rock out in my car. If you ever see me driving, I'm probably doing something embarrassing.

7. Luckily for me I'm not easily embarrassed (see 5 and 6).

8. Sometimes my mouth gets me into trouble.

9. I miss reading books just for fun. Somehow "Insurance Law and Policy" just doesn't do it for me. I'll have to play catch-up this summer.

10. I'm a sucker for Jane Austen. Typical chick, I know. And Tolstoy writes beautifully...but the first time I read Anna Karenina, I threw the book across the room after finishing it. It's funny how you can love a book and hate it at the same time.

11. I always cry at funerals--even if I didn't know the person all that well.

12. I loathe vegetables...with the fire of a thousand suns. If I could get away with it, I'd never eat any vegetables ever again. Especially broccoli--I mean, it looks (and tastes) like little trees.

13. I also despise running. I think it's the worst way to exercise ever--it's like unto torture. Seriously, I will do ANYTHING else.

14. I'm not especially girly, but I adore stilettos...and sparkly things...and my hair straightener.

15. I find speed thrilling...when I'm driving the car. One day, when I have a real job, I'll have a car with a big enough engine to...well, you know.

16. I absolutely cannot sit still. I am always moving in some way.

17. I like to be in charge and sometimes I can get pretty bossy...I guess it comes with the territory of being the oldest of six kids.

18. I really, really dislike getting out of bed in the morning. Especially when it's ridiculously cold outside. And I really just love being in bed.

19. I am a very curious and inquisitive person and thus I ask lots of questions...but I really don't do it to be nosy or just to know things. If I ask you a question, I'm truly interested in you and in the answer.

20. My conversations are usually peppered with movie quotes...but most people don't get them. INCONCEIVABLE.

21. I have a pretty dry, somewhat sarcastic sense of humor (even if people here just don't get it). And I enjoy the same in others.

22. I've driven across this country way too many times to think that road trips are any fun--especially road trips that include the state of Nebraska or the city of St. Louis. And this last time I drove across, I didn't even have to use the map one time.

23. I adore the piano and wish I had the time/opportunity to study it the way I want to. One day, before I die, I will master the instrument and play: Appassionata, Rhapsody in Blue, Pathetique, Traumerei, Maple Leaf Rag and I'd better stop listing music now before I bore you all to death.

24. As I get older, I find that I am increasingly impatient with people who are fake, dishonest, petty, selfish, obnoxious, etc. Combine this with # 8 and oh my. Trouble.

25. Sometimes things that should be offensive are just funny to me. I can't help it. And like I said, I'm really not easily offended.

26. I yam what I yam...and I hope one day I can find someone who just gets me. Until then...

Two Lists...

2009-01-17T15:29:00.010-05:00

Things that BUG me:

o People who eat entire meals in class—seriously, if you can’t wait another 45 minutes maybe you should quit law school and become a professional eater.

o Talking in the library....whatever happened to common courtesy??

o People who make irrelevant (and sometimes unintelligible) comments in class: do you think it makes you sound smarter? Really?!?

o People who think they’re super special just b/c they’re in law school...honestly, sometimes I think that the people who stayed out of law school are the smart ones.

o Driving when I'm hungry and tired...my car horn gets an extra workout on those days. Idiots.

o The way people just act like you don't exist...if you bump into me or need to get by...say excuse me! seriously, were you raised by gorillas?!?!?

o The way that the Saturday aerobics girl talks/breathes into the microphone.

o Devil Snow/Demon Ice

o Drama. Get over yourself.

o Doing nothing and feeling guilty about it. Sigh.

Things I LOVE:

o Starbucks vanilla bean truffles. oh. my. goodness.

o My bed. So soft...so warm...ahhhh...

o Days without homework...I can dream can't I???

o Going out to eat.

o The last day of final exams.

o TV on DVD. Seriously one of my favorite things ever...no commercials, no waiting a week to see the new episode, etc., etc.

o Good stories...and the people who can tell them!

o Sunshine, summer...and warmth. I will [try to] never complain about the heat again.

o Granny food. My granny's food can kick your granny's (or mama's or wife's) cooking's butt!

o Home.

Well, a night or two past--it was wind, rain & hail--

2009-01-07T17:54:00.010-05:00

...well, snow at least. Lots and lots of wretched snow. Obviously I'm back in the UT after a wonderful break in beautiful, warm SC. There, it was around 75 or 80 degrees....and then I come back to this:

That Devil Snow and I have had a difficult relationship over the years. Devil Snow is a cold-hearted, two-faced little monster: it can be pretty and fun like for tubing or building snowmen:

"Oh," said the Snow, "come play with me. Come build a snow man." So we listened...we played and had fun. We built Old Humphrey (the big one on the left) and Little Snowy (the baby one on the right) and it was all good and fun...until the next morning when Andrew discovered that Devil Snow had stolen his wedding ring right off his finger! Luckily, Andrew and Courtney taught Devil Snow a lesson when they came back and demolished poor Humphrey and Snowy...but they took that ring right back from Devil Snow. HA!

But then he came back to get me the next day...with a vengeance. Devil Snow was looking for more than just mischief...he tried to kill me! TWICE! 1) He spun my car into the wall/snowbank when I was coming down the hill for school, and 2) he made me slip and fall and now I have horrendous bruises in various places.

But oh, Devil Snow, I'm wise to to your tricks, seeee...and you will never get the best of me. We'll continue this tumultuous relationship until Spring arrives...and melts your beastly self into oblivion.

That sound you hear...that's my soul dying.

2008-12-02T18:49:00.006-05:00

I am about to descend into the abysmal days of final exams. Wish me luck and a fair journey; and hopefully I'll make it through to the light at the other side.

Oh, Brutus!

2008-11-20T18:28:00.003-05:00

Oh, Brutus...you were such a good dog! Go play with the Moocher! We love you!

Batting For the Cure

2008-11-07T15:20:00.009-05:00

Three times a week I attend a class on Criminal Procedure. My professor, Michael Goldsmith, is a remarkable man. For his professional bio, click here. It is an amazing experience to learn the law from such a man. But these class periods are also marked by something particularly sad: Professor Goldsmith suffers from ALS, more commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s disease.

But rather than becoming a victim of the disease, Professor Goldsmith has undertaken an effort to raise funds for a cure. He looks to the sport of his youth—and the sport of Lou Gehrig—for an answer. His article, which appeared in this week’s Newsweek, can be found here.

From the article:
“July 4, 2009 will mark the 70th anniversary of Lou Gehrig's famous farewell speech at Yankee Stadium. Since his retirement, hundreds of thousands of Americans have shared Gehrig's fate, as medical science has made virtually no progress toward finding a cure...

To this day, Lou Gehrig is still named in some polls as the greatest player in baseball history; by all accounts, he also had a reputation for uncommon decency. His legacy for greatness will live forever, but it's time to end the heartbreaking legacy of the disease that bears his name. Major League Baseball can help make that happen.”

Help Professor Goldsmith and every other American suffering from ALS by supporting the cause. Write to your favorite teams/players, send emails…whatever you think can help—to ask that they dedicate July 4, 2009 as Lou Gehrig Day, and to raise funds for ALS.

All I Have to Say...

2008-11-05T11:14:00.005-05:00

...is that I can't wait to become a lawyer so I can "redistribute" my paycheck to all those who sit on their hind ends and don't do jack. Consider the following:

"You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot help small men by tearing down big men. You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer. You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot establish sound security on borrowed money. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred. You cannot build character and courage by destroying a man's initiative and independence. And you cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they can and should do for themselves."

--William Boetcker (1873-1962); American religious leader and public speaker; The Ten Cannots

William Boetcker was a Presbyterian minister and sought-after lecturer during the early part of the 20th century. His message was pretty simple and clear: hard work, integrity and character will lead to prosperity. That seems fair doesn't it? Work hard and you'll be rewarded with prosperity. (And by prosperous, I don't mean fabulously wealthy, but that you'll be able to feed and clothe and house yourself and family.)

But these we seem to have a distorted sense of what it means to be prosperous; ours has become a "Culture of Entitlement." More often than not, our citizens think, for example, that living in a home that's 2 (or 3 or 4!) times as expensive as we can afford is a right, and that our politicians had better make sure those "rights" are not violated. A plan that seems to to promote/bail out those who ascribe to such entitlement kind of worries me. Perhaps my worries are for nothing. I hope so.

Also, as a side note:

A friend of mine told me this last night: "So, I'm out running, and this dude comes out of his house and yells as I run by, "Obama in yo face, cracka!" Yeah, that's funny, but it's kind of the feeling I get from all of this.

That being said, while I am worried about the next four years, I am quite proud to be an American today. I am grateful to live in this country where opposing candidates treat each other [reasonably] amicably and where our system assures bloodless regime changes. It is a beautiful process. Hooray for Democracy and the Constitution!

I echo McCain when I say, "I urge all Americans who supported [him] to join...in not just congratulating [Obama], but offering our next president our good will and earnest effort to find ways to come together to find the necessary compromises to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited."

Miles to go before i sleep...

2008-10-31T14:24:00.007-04:00

So...it's been about thirty hours since my eyes last closed in slumber. Why? Why, you ask? Don't you know that sleep is for all you losers who don't go to law school?

For all you who have been wondering...it's true. We law students, lawyers, judges, etc., are special, more evolved type of human beings. Think: Superheroes. Our minds are quicker, our reflexes are faster, we are always prepared with a snappy comeback, we can survive on cheez-its and pop-tarts...and are you ready for this??? We have evolved into superior beings who no longer need sleep to recharge and revive our bodies. We are superhuman--with robotic endurance and extraordinary intelligence.

This rare and desirable trait allows us to study around the clock. We now have the means to attain those perfect grades, and time for all the extracurricular activities and all the law clerk work we need to pad our resumes for future employment purposes. And when we graduate, oh yes, we will be able to bill upwards of 3000...no, 4000 hours per year!

So to all you puny, unfortunate, neanderthalian evolutionary mishaps...go ahead. go to sleep. We'll be watching you.

The Winter Air is Keen and Cold...

2008-10-28T13:52:00.005-04:00

I've been gone from this place for several years, and now, upon my return I begin to remember...

This time of year is when I really start to miss home the most. As much as I love hot, hot summers...October at home (in Beaufort and in Charleston) is magnificent. The air begins to cool (goodbye sand gnats!) and everything takes on a crisper, brighter appearance...while it's still t-shirt and sandals weather. Ah...it's bliss.

My favorite, favorite thing is to sit on a swing at the waterfront, feel the breeze come off the water, and watch the boats sail by on the river. Or walking down the beach to the sound of the waves. That's when/where I feel most at ease--and I just know this is where I belong.

But here in the UT, October heralds something dark and dreadful: Winter. The air here does not cool...it freezes...and brings with it something equally evil: Snow and Ice. These Wintry Demons conspire together to conquer this land...and they do. For months, and months, and months the have a hold on this dreary land. For me, retreat is always the best option...I stay inside, wrap up in a blanket, drink hot chocolate...and think warm thoughts.

This time of year here always brings to my mind the lyrics of Dolly Parton's (tacky, but you've got to love her) Smoky Mountain Memories--"oh, and these [Western] nights are dreary, and my Southern heart is weary..."

As winter descends upon me in this place, I close my eyes and dream of smiling faces and beautiful places, green grass and high tides...I think of home and hope home is thinking of me.

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...

2008-09-28T17:24:00.004-04:00

So, I saw Lauren's blog and decided that I needed one....and here I am.

I'm back here in the Provo--just transferred back out to BYU to finish my last two years of law school. Neeevvveerrr thought I'd really ever come back out here again but I guess that shows how much I know. I can make all the plans I want to make but I'll just end up wherever I'm supposed to be. Am still making adjustments, but all will be well.

And I get to see some of my favorite people again!! (Had dinner with some just last night...)

Otherwise, I just want to gripe for a moment about 8:30am church. Seriously...who's the genius who thought of such torture?? I am always late, then there's never any parking and we always get stuck sitting in the front. Ugh. They might as well just tell us not to come.

Anyways...enough said. Will return when I do/say/hear something interesting.